Eulogy, for Dad

This is the eulogy I delivered at my Father's Interment Service:

My father was a man of deep faith. We celebrated that in his Funeral Mass yesterday and will celebrate it again with the Interment Service we are about to do here. However, before that I wanted to talk about my memories of Dad.

On a Saturday morning, my Dad would find me and say, “Let’s go run some errands.” I knew that many times that would also include a stop for breakfast at the Chuck Wagon on Route 40 or, if it was later, a stop for lunch at Fiddles underneath the bridge in Brownsville, PA.

We’d get in the car and run the errands in town. Since this was the prehistoric time before ATM machines, often it meant a stop at the bank, or the Post Office, or the Dry Cleaners. Wherever Dad went he knew everyone and had a bright “good morning” for all. Then we’d start on the back roads for the errands out of town. My Dad knew every road in Southwestern Pennsylvania.

As I got older and found out more about my family history I discovered that my grandfather had not always been there for my Dad. My grandparent’s marriage had not been happy. Family was very important to Dad and that he considered being a father his most important job. I began to understand that this was due to the difficulties that he had experienced as a child. Being an only child, my Mother’s large family basically adopted him. While no one would ever accuse father of being a musician, he was at every school concert where Janice, my sister, and I performed. That was what a father did.

My Dad loved to travel. In the Army he was stationed in West Berlin, Germany. While there he took advantage of opportunities to visit other parts of Europe, including visiting the small town in Sicily where the Gennaula family had originated. He would always tell the story how he was instructed to eat at no one’s house, for if he ate at one and not another it would have started a family war.

Growing up I knew my Dad truly loved my mom, Suzanne. However, my Mom for the most part did not enjoy travelling as much as he did. This led to a period in my preteen years where I would take Father and Son Trips with Dad. I would act as his navigator and tell him where to turn and such. Later they would come to visit me wherever I lived, whether it was New York State, North Carolina, Illinois, or Minnesota. They also visited Janice, her husband Drew, and later their children, whether they lived in Washington DC or Germany. Dad truly loved being a grandfather to Tony, Rachel, Tommy, and John.

After 57 years of marriage, my Mom died. My Dad had cared for her as she had become increasingly frail. Afterward, Dad bought a new car and started travelling to see family and friends. On his travels he visited with Mary Lou and her daughter Dru Anne, in Gettysburg. My Dad had known Ray, Mary Lou’s first husband. Together, along with Mary Lou’s brother-in-law, they had helped Dad finish our basement family room. When my Dad told me that he and Mary Lou were serious and were planning on getting married my first thought was “My Dad is going to marry my CCD Teacher.” Janice, my wife Wendy, and I and our children were so happy to have Mary Lou and Dru Anne join our family. Thank you for being with Dad as he faced these last years of his life.

I have so many memories of my father. What I will remember most however, is my Dad’s smile--his contagious smile, as my cousin Jane recently said. It was a smile that knew of the difficulties of life and how to move pass them through a kind word or just that simple smile. I love you, Dad. Rest in Peace.

Eulogy, for Mom

A year ago today, my mother died.  Even though she had been in declining health, it was quite sudden. I had just spoke to her over the phone that morning and everything seemed fine.  At the Funeral Mass I gave the following eulogy for her:

EULOGY

Mom was ‘Jubilant’. Each Saturday Mom would quiz me on the word for the week. This last Saturday she asked me what was another word for “rejoice”. For Mom, I couldn’t give just any synonym—it had to be the one she had in mind. I was not sure which word she meant of the hundreds that would fit the bill.  So, I told her I didn’t know.  The word was Jubilant.  She followed the answer by “See, I taught you something!”

Mom loved to teach. Even from an early age Mom loved to play school and always, she was the teacher. She was the first of her family to go to college. At first she didn’t like it there.  She was away from all of her family—and she came from a BIG family. On a ride back home with her brother George she told him that she wanted to quit. He reminded her that she was lucky to get to go to college and that she could not quit. And I am very happy that she did not.  Teaching led Mom to Dad.

For Mom’s first teaching job out of college was here in town. And in that first class of senior students she taught (wait for it...) my father. Now growing up I did not know how my parents had met. But one day while checking a book out of the college library, the librarian asked, “are you Chuck and Suzie’s boy?” I said yes. The librarian turned to her coworker and told a romance story worthy of Danielle Steel.  In that tale my father had declared his undying love for her right at the night of graduation. Well, I ran home and came in the kitchen door to find them sitting there and said “We have to talk.”  I found out the graduation night story was not true.  They didn’t start to date until after my dad went to college and returned from the army.  But I did find out that one of the other teachers did ask Mom that year “Why is that Gennaula boy always hanging around?”

My mom loved being a mother. I always knew Mom loved Janice and that Mom loved me. She even gave up teaching for a while to have us. But eventually she did go back to teaching. And when it was our time, both Janice and I found out what my father already knew: Mom was a tough teacher! You had to earn your grade—no ifs, ands, or buts. In fact, years earlier she had given my dad a D. After they were married she found that old grade book and realized that she should have given him a ‘C’.  To which Dad replied “How about an A?” Mom and Dad taught by example—on how to learn and also how to have a marriage that lasts.

Mom loved being a grandmother. All those lessons that Mom taught us, we have brought to our own families. Mom became Grammy. She was so happy to be with her grandchildren and to hear about their activities. I would see her light up when she was with them.

Finally, Mom loved God. She passed on to the Lord right here in this church. In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus speaks of the faith of children. Mom was lucky to retain a childlike faith and trust through out her whole life. So Mom when I think of you in Heaven I remember your final word to me:  Jubilant.

Recycle, Reuse

A while back I mentioned an IKEA bed frame that we bought last year. Never again! We got a new box springs and mattress for the bed and found that the design of the bed frame allowed the box springs to slip through the frame and get unevenly wedged! So we finally went out and got a new metal bed frame which is great.

The question became what to do with the old bed frame. We felt we couldn't give it away--it was defective. As I was hauling it out Wendy looked at the head board and said "That's a really nice piece of wood. Pity you couldn't use it as a desk."

The light bulb appeared above my head!

IKEA does sell nice table legs. I went and bought a bunch of them. Turned that into my new desk in my study. The foot board turned out to be a very nice elevated shelf for the the back of the desk. So now I don't feel quite as bad about the purchase of the bed frame. But still--I don't think I'll be buying anything like that from IKEA anytime soon.

Another haiku from Wendy

Morning Haiku II:

I want a donut
and a steaming cup of joe
Dunkable goodness

(c) 2007, Wendy J. Gennaula, all rights reserved

A haiku from Wendy

Morning Haiku:

Dad makes the coffe
According to the Bible
The book says He-brews

(c) Wendy J. Gennaula, all rights reserved.

A scene from "The House of Gennaula"

(At rise: Father enters dining room. Mother and son, Tommy, is seated at the dining room table. Tommy is playing his Gameboy DS and apparently not listening to the conversation. General small talk between Father and Mother until...)

Mother: ... and Tommy has been a very good boy.

Tommy: (Without looking up from his Gameboy DS) That's what SHE thinks.

(end of scene)

Tonight we don't Fringe

Well the plan was to Fringe tonight--but both Wendy and I are dead beat! OY!!!

We've seen some really great theater. We also saw one show that was pretty bad. But in the interest of not creating "bad karma" I've decided that if I really don't like a show this year, I'm just going to not blog about it.

Wendy has about 4 reviews that she wants to get done tonight. I still have shows I want to write about. If les enfants cooperate, we might be able to do that.

My kid gets deep on me...

"Dad, when we die, does God delete us?"

--Tommy Gennaula, 1:15pm

Oy Vey!

What you get

The other morning Wendy and I awoke to the sound of our wonderful sons screaming at each other... at the top of their lungs.

And my lovely wife turns to me and says: "I'm thinking about What do you get when you fall in love?... it isn't pretty."

The Light Rail to the MOA (Mall of America)

I had an adventure with Tony yesterday. Tommy and Wendy had plans to go see a show at the Children’s Theatre and then have dinner. I asked Tony what he wanted to do with me. We got on the Light Rail at 50th street. It was nice to get in the train since it was so hot outside.

Neither of us had been all the way southward to the MOA before. We went past Fort Snelling and the cemetery. When we got to the mall Tony wanted to play at the arcade right away. Afterwards we checked out Barnes and Noble, had dinner in the food court, and then stopped at Game Stop.

Tony convinced me that it would be OK if he used his money to buy Super Smash Brothers Melee even though it is a Teen game and he is only 12. You see, in Europe it is a 12 and up game, so it would be OK. They learn fast.

Wendy and Tommy had a great time and stopped at Chris and Rob’s Chicago style restaurant on the way home. They have NASCAR posters all around the place which Tommy thought was very cool.

Today we were just going to try to stay cool. Major thunderstorms just rolled through our area now, so hopefully the temperature will come down.

Rainy Sunday

It's a rainy Sunday here in Minnesota. We have 2 friends of the boys over today for a play date. They are all upstairs celebrating "Neurodiversity". I really haven't written much about the fact that both boys have autism.

All fours boys in our house today are part of the autism program at their school. Today is one of those days where I'm really thankful that we live in Minneapolis. Minneapolis Public Schools has a well developed autism program. All four of the boys started in the program before they were in Kindergarten. It's really great for the boys and parents to know other people and families for whom autism is a part of their lives.

This week

It is springtime in Minnesota. The temperatures are hovering between 50 and 70. The plants are starting to turn green. The boys have major spring fever.

We've gone to the playground a couple of times with the boys. Both boys have a lot of extra energy to burn off—but especially Tony. They have been doing a lot of testing at school these past weeks and I wonder if that is part of the greater need to run and swing and slide.

Interesting news time: a co-worker pointed out to me that Pittsburgh, PA had tied with a number of other cities for 10th place in the list of cleanest cities. He questioned the results of the survey when he read that. I told him of the homestead mill that is now a shopping center (The Waterfront in Homestead). It is hard to shake the James Parton quote that “Pittsburgh is hell with the lid taken off”. It doesn't help that Pittsburghers (myself included) sometimes that a perverse pride in that quote.

But I live in Minnesota now. Land of 10,000 lakes, loons, and chorales.

Month of March

I can't believe the month of March is already gone. We started out with a tiger of a snow storm and end wet. (Not quite a lamb, but I didn't need to use my snow blower on it.)

Wendy finished up with Mikado at the Gilbert of Sullivan Very Light Opera Company. She had a great time singing with them. Last night they had their set strike and final cast party. It was at a Masonic Lodge and that was a first for both Wendy and I. After reading the Da Vinci Code I kept wondering what it would be like inside. In the main hall there were a lot of symbols all around and a beautiful mural on the ceiling. But actually the highlight of the evening was the alternate lyrics contest.

Geek Culture

For my birthday Wendy and the boys gave me the 10 Star Trek movie DVDs and a Star Trek encyclopedia. Since the boys already know the Star Wars saga I think it's time to introduce the "Star Trek canon" of Geek Culture. Tony isn't really into at this point, but Tommy is having fun watching the movies with me in order. So far his favorite is Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

My son, the comedian

Tommy wakes up this morning. He comes into our bedroom and gives Wendy a kiss.

She says "My dear boy."

He says "Do I have antlers?"